Wednesday, 20 May 2009

Out of the mouths of babes...

My 73 year old mother in law sent me some Australian Computer humour which I thought worthy of sharing around - not so much for the humour but for the fact that she was thinking of me with a twinkle in her eye at the time:

Australian Computer Terminology

LOG ON:Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.
LOG OFF:Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR:Keeping an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD:Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE:Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD:Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW:What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN:What you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE:What mozzies do.
MEGABYTE:What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP:A bar snack.
MICROCHIP:What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM:What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP:Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE:Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE:Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE:The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:What holds the shed up.
WEB:What spiders make.
WEBSITE:Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE:What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR:What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO:What you say when the Ute does go.
UPGRADE:A steep hill.
SERVER:The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER:The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK:What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET:Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE:What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
ONLINE:Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE:Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.

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