Out of the mouths of babes...

My 73 year old mother in law sent me some Australian Computer humour which I thought worthy of sharing around - not so much for the humour but for the fact that she was thinking of me with a twinkle in her eye at the time:

Australian Computer Terminology

LOG ON:	Adding wood to make the barbie hotter.
LOG OFF:	Not adding any more wood to the barbie.
MONITOR:	Keeping an eye on the barbie.
DOWNLOAD:	Getting the firewood off the Ute.
HARD DRIVE:	Making the trip back home without any cold tinnies.
KEYBOARD:	Where you hang the Ute keys.
WINDOW:	What you shut when the weather's cold.
SCREEN:	What you shut in the mozzie season.
BYTE:	What mozzies do.
MEGABYTE:	What Townsville mozzies do.
CHIP:	A bar snack.
MICROCHIP:	What's left in the bag after you've eaten the chips.
MODEM:	What you did to the lawns.
LAPTOP:	Where the cat sleeps.
SOFTWARE:	Plastic knives & forks you get at Red Rooster.
HARDWARE:	Stainless steel knives & forks - from K-Mart.
MOUSE:	The small rodent that eats the grain in the shed.
MAINFRAME:	What holds the shed up.
WEB:	What spiders make.
WEBSITE:	Usually in the shed or under the verandah.
SEARCH ENGINE:	What you do when the Ute won't go.
CURSOR:	What you say when the Ute won't go.
YAHOO:	What you say when the Ute does go.
UPGRADE:	A steep hill.
SERVER:	The person at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
MAIL SERVER:	The bloke at the pub who brings out the counter lunch.
USER:	The neighbour who keeps borrowing things.
NETWORK:	What you do when you need to repair the fishing net.
INTERNET:	Where you want the fish to go.
NETSCAPE:	What the fish do when they discover the hole in the net.
ONLINE:	Where you hang the washing.
OFFLINE:	Where the washing ends up when the pegs aren't strong enough.