CISCO doesn't want any customers

Well, the joy of communicating with CISCO today has taught me that arguably the largest communications company really doesn't want any more customers. Their systems are clearly not up to the task and it takes a person who is intimately familiar with their product line-up to actually select a product.

It all started with a quote from one of my suppliers who recommended a CISCO881W-GN-A-K9. I took a look at it and it appears to be a desktop device, not a 1 ru like I need. Mind you getting that confirmed is pretty hard, entering the device model into Google gives me the CISCO Router Guide, but even that doesn't actually tell me what the form-factor is for this specific device.

Google Images gives me several options, some of which appear to look like units that might be able to be installed into a rack using external mounting brackets, but no further information about this unit and rack-mounting was readily available. The search also returns desktop WiFi base-stations, just what I'm looking for - not.

I thought I'd look at the CISCO online offering, perhaps they have something like a product selector. Sure, if you know intimately which particular flavour of VPN you require and what kind of WiFi you think you need, but selecting on form-factor doesn't seem to factor in the CISCO Feature Navigator.

I found the CISCO Product Adviser, only to be unable to locate the recommended device. Thinking I might have been quoted a product that is EOL, I searched, apparently confirming that, only to find that the device I'm looking at is the replacement for another EOL product, which still features in the Product Adviser - now over 6 months old.

I thought I'd contact CISCO direct, spent some time looking for a local phone number, found a 1800 number in Australia and dialled it, only to get an engaged signal. Dialled it again, selected End-User Pre-Sales and after waiting for 3 minutes, was put through to a voice mail system for one particular person. Lovely.

During the on-hold time I was advised that I could do an online-chat if I clicked on the Product Menu, so I did. No such luck. It might well be there, but I can't find it.

The online map office locator didn't work and I couldn't find offices in the Asia Pacific. So, instead I dialled Australia's Head Office, spoke to the receptionist, who didn't know what country I was in and then attempted to put me through to the pre-sales team, only to be told that she also got voice-mail. I asked to speak with the pre-sales team leader, only to be told that I could only do that if I knew them by name.

I then asked to speak with her team-leader who went around the same merry-go-round and then told me that I couldn't speak to anyone anywhere.

This makes no sense. All I want is a router. I want it to fit in my rack and I'd like to speak with the manufacturer of the device.

I'm going to look at other brands, CISCO, don't bother, they clearly don't care.

A letter to VMware

In case there is any interest in improving your client interaction, my customer interaction with your company today:

• I was advised by an Apple technician to update my 6 day old copy of VMware Fusion 2.0.4 - I'd installed the shipped copy 2.0 an hour earlier - to 2.0.5 because it would fix the issue I was having.
• After agreeing to a licence, I downloaded 2.0.5 , which when I installed it, asked me to agree to yet another license. I've now agreed to the one for 2.0, the one to download 2.0.4, the one to install 2.0.4, the one to download 2.0.5, the one to install 2.0.5 - despite having to actually login to my profile before I can even begin the download - have your lawyers not got anything better to do?
• The problem was not resolved, and since I had a spare 15 minutes, and despite several hours of research to resolve the issue over the weekend, I thought I'd phone support since I have 30 days support when I bought VMware Fusion. The website indicated that support was available in Australia from 7am to 7pm EST, so I launched the white pages, did a national search for VMware, found your Perth Office number and dialled it.
• The telephone number in the electronic white pages shows a phone number for VMware in my local town of Perth, Western Australia. Only it is no longer connected.
• The electronic white pages do not show the 1800 number for telephone support.
• When I contacted the Sydney number, a long distance call, I asked to speak with technical support. I was provided with the 1800 number.
• I dialled the 1800 number, chose technical support, workstation, fusion, and then got a message telling me that it was closed - even though your web-site tells me that it's open from 7am to 7pm EST (or Sydney time)
• When I contacted the Sydney number again, I was put through to technical support where I spent 7 minutes on the phone with a lady who didn't speak much English and turned out to be in licensing support. All she could tell me was that I didn't own any copies of VMware - my bank disagrees.
• When I contacted the Sydney number again, I was put through to licensing again, who put me through to technical support. The gentleman who answered was in Canada, but could not provide telephone support. He actually called me back on my phone so we could have a conversation on your dime, rather than mine. It transpired that your registration process had not registered my product. I was advised to speak with licensing support.
• I tried to license my copy of VMware Fusion on the web - no success, not a valid serial number, despite the fact that the serial number was written on the CD sleeve and that it had happily been used by the application as a license key.
• I dialled the 1800 number and chose licensing support. I spent 13 minutes discussing the merits of your web-form when finally the gentleman was able to license my copy of VMware Fusion. I wanted to ask about why my VMware workstation license wasn't visible, but the call had already ended.
• I dialled the 1800 number in an attempt to speak with customer service, no such option.
• I tried to license my copy of VMware Workstation on the web - no success, not a valid serial number, despite the fact that it was copied from an email you sent me.
• I dialled the 1800 number and chose licensing support. I spent 15 minutes attempting to license my copy of VMware workstation. The gentleman advised me to contact the sales team "to swap the key".
• I dialled the Sydney number, but they had gone home, despite that the web site says that it was open for another hour and a half.
• I dialled the 1800 number and chose the sales team, where I got the global voice mail for VMware USA.

You can just imagine how much fun I was having. I then tried to lodge a support call on the web.

• The web-form tells me that the maximum length for the description is 2000 characters, but when I pasted 1908 of them, it told me that there were too many.
• The web-form has the ability to upload files, and even has sections describing what files are smart to upload, only OSX doesn't exist, nor does VMware Fusion.

So, all in all, I've now been at this since 14:16. It's now 16:35. Whom do I bill for the $355 dollars in time this has cost me, let alone the cost in phone calls, which I'm not looking forward to.

IronPort integration - crap

Here's an email I sent to senderbase after banging my head on a brick wall for nearly two days with their closed-loop spam solution. You get on the list for some reason, but there's no way to get off. iiNet's solution to the problem is: "Wait and see." - as in, give it 24/48 hours from some nebulous start point, rinse and repeat.

As an IT administrator of a mail system I crashed into your solution yesterday morning at 7am. A local ISP has implemented IronPort hardware and uses senderbase.org as it's block list.

The ISP's response is: "That's not our problem."

Your site tells me that the reputation for my server is "poor", but doesn't indicate what caused that ranking, nor does it help me determine what to actually do about this.

The server in question sends out two email messages, once a week, to three addresses, namely, me - the administrator, and the owner of the server - using two of his own email addresses - one of which is operated by the ISP.

You've created a wonderful closed loop solution that does nothing for legitimate operators of mail services and makes it simple for the owner of the IronPort hardware to just drop problems caused by your implementation into the too hard basket.

I'm not impressed and as an IT consultant will not recommend your solution to any of my clients in SME/Gov.

I'm not going to hold my breath, but in case you're actually interested in resolving the issue, the ISP is iiNet in Australia, the trouble ticket number in their system is: 60416585

I'll not waste your time telling you about the various pieces of advice provided by iiNet, suffice to say that the problem is not because the email account is on a dynamic IP address because it's on an ADSL link. Or should the support technician have advised me that it was because of another BOFH reason, say: "BOFH excuse #246: It must have been the lightning storm we had (yesterday) (last week) (last month)"

The Information Deluge

Today I realised why I'm feeling buried by the various companies that supply me with products and services – it's because I am.

Case in point.

Last week I received five letters from my bank. Most of the content was not applicable to me, was of no interest and hid the real information in between all the other paper.

Here's what I got – all on the same day:

1. Direct marketing material about an insurance product. It came in an envelope on its own with a cover letter, an application form, a deduction authority form, a return envelope, a financial services guide and a 20 page product disclosure statement.
   
   
2. A credit card statement which contained a cover letter, the actual statement, an advertisement for a service that I already have enabled and a flier attempting to entice me to make me a fashion princess – never mind that I'm a bloke, have been all my life – no intention to change either.
   
   
3. An account statement, consisting of several pages of transactions, a warning notice on the second-last page and an advertisement for a good cause that the bank would like me to be interested in.
   
   
4. Another account statement, very brief, single page, but the back has the same advertisement for the same good cause that I am still not interested in.
   
   
5. And finally, an actual letter from my bank advising me that a service I requested has now been activated – never mind that the lead time is two months, but that's not really what this is all about.
   

So, in among this wad of paper – I've not gone to the trouble of actually counting pages, but there are many – there lurked some actual things that required action. I won't go into detail about what needed doing, suffice to say that some records needed updating.

Now, this is just one service provider, my bank, on one day. It's true that I don't receive that much postal deluge from my bank each day, but the important information was hidden among all the other things I don't care about and seem to have little control over.

Multiply this little experience with the same deluge from my telecommunications provider, my superannuation fund, the taxation department, my frequent flier membership, etc. You get the picture.

I also run a business and get all manner of “information” sent to me from “suppliers” and other sundry sources. It's a veritable forest just arriving at my door.

There's the additional 300 or so emails a day, but strangely enough, I seem to be able to wade through those a whole lot quicker than I can through the marketing muck that arrives in the post.

Enough whining already. What can be done about this feast?

Well, my idea is this. Perhaps my service providers could have a think about what they're sending out and find ways of actually managing the information flow. Huh?

Ok, what if the bank were to take note of how many letters it sent me in any given period, let's say a month. During that month, there are going to be things that have different levels of importance, both to me and my bank. At the level of where the information gets transmitted into the postal system, the bank needs to put in place a means to throttle the information flow.

The result of this is that I can have a better chance to absorb the information sent to me. Think of it as the way that teachers disseminate information, one chunk at a time.

In addition to this management of the actual flood to my door – remembering that my bank is only one of those, there are other things the service provider could do to help me manage the flow.

Why are all my statements not sent in the same envelope?

I have several accounts with the bank. I get an envelope with a statement for each account – even if the accounts are linked. This is ludicrous.

Why are pages and pages wasted with duplicate advertising?

If you give me some information – in the form of advertising on one of my accounts, then it is silly to say the least to print out the same information for each account.

Why is advertising and information on the same statement at all?

I store all my statements, each comes with a helpful “page 1 of x”, and if I were to just throw out the advertising, then the statement would be missing a page and I wouldn't know if it was an actual statement page, or just advertising – so I store this rubbish – for seven years.

Why is a product advisory shipped with all the things I need if I were interested?

I am bombarded with fliers, forms, disclosure statements and other rubbish when that information could be simply referred to in the cover letter and provided on-line with no need to cut down trees to send it to me and for me to throw it in the bin, mostly sight unseen.

True to form I contacted my bank and attempted to impart my insight – with mixed success. The initial response was “I'll remove you from the direct marketing list” – while kind, it wasn't really what I was hoping to achieve. I then was told that the bank understood what I meant and that they would use the feedback to improve their services. In the mean-time I was directed to their web-site to do my research there. Ah well.

Perhaps other service providers will take this on-board and perhaps the world might see flying pigs one day too.